Come and find me on the sly
and boil the wreath
And make its crown
reach the ceiling
on the repeat:
Put birdlime rods on its branches
so it catches birds for you
And if your husband sees us
and pretends to be cross
I’ll beat him to a pulp
with a flyswatter
on the repeat:
And if the cuckold gets cross
because I kiss you, you little minx
I’ll smash his ribs
with a flyswatter
And if he comes with four more
I’ll throw mulberries at them
And if he comes with eight or nine more
I’ll raise my cudgel
on the repeat:
And if he comes with eight or nine more
I’ll raise my cudgel
Oh no, he’s come with a hundred
I’ll draw my pistol
And if you’ve got the nerve, Charon
on the repeat:
And if you’ve got the nerve, Charon
and if you wear trousers
Come and get your chops slapped
on the repeat:
Come, you too, get your chops slapped
at the Marble Fields
And once I’ve given you a beating, Grim One
I’ll take you on as my apprentice
You’ll tamp my hookah
and wash the tobacco
on the repeat:
You’ll light my pipe
and have a little smoke yourself